Maybe
by Bonzodog
Summary: Ted had no idea today was going to be so different. JDCox slash through someone elses eyes. Angst and self harm.


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Enjoy! It's taken me ages to finish this, so no excuses for things not making sense. Bad self. Usual tell me if bad, bla bla bla. Reviews are cotton candy love.

**Oh, and the references to hospital tension are a tribute to My Long Sleeves, an amazing fic by CheetahLiv. Look it up. NOW.**

No one listened to Ted.

And Ted knew he wasn't important. He used to tell himself that he was happy, that he liked annoying the new hot blonde interns and he didn't mind people ignoring him. This was, of course, a lie. But by now everyone knew Ted was unhappy, and they made a big joke out of it. Him and Dr Kelso had a little routine about it. Every day, when Ted walked into work, Kelso would say "Killed yourself yet?" And Ted would shake his head and think of a reply/excuse.

"No, sorry sir. My gun ran out of bullets."

Then Kelso would sigh, and say "Huh well. There's always tomorrow."

He didn't know today was going to be so different. He walked in and Kelso said "Killed yourself yet?" like usual. He forced a smile and replied "No, sir. Mom used the last of my aspirin for her headaches." And Kelso gave the usual reply before wandering off. That part of his day was certainly normal.

He peered through a window, into a patients room, and saw Dr Dorian explaining something to his interns. Until he was interrupted by a loud door slam which signalled the entrance of Dr Cox. The man always liked a big fuss to be made.

"Good morning Barbara, Barbara's sheep. Let's just do a check now. As we all know, a grasshopper that's hung over, drunk, and on LSD all at the same time could look after patients better than you. And with Susanna here as your attending, you really have drawn the short straw. She may not be an absolutely, 100 awful doctor, but she does have a tendency to follow you around on something I'm told is a scooter but I'm not quite sure. So, let's have a show of hands. How many of you have killed a patient today?" None of the interns raised their hands. "Come on, don't be shy. Okay, who thinks they will probably have killed a patient by the end of the day?" Still none of the interns raised their hands. "My god, do you people really think I believe you?" Ted noted that Dr Dorian had turned an interesting shade of white-red, like he couldn't decide between anger, embarrassment or shock.

"Dr Cox, could I have a word with you please?" Dr Dorian asked firmly. Dr Cox sighed, and casting one last 'screw-up-and-die' look at the interns, followed the younger man out.

"What the hell is wrong Felecia? You should be checking the intern-puppies over there don't piddle on the floors." Dr Dorian's face had gone redder now, and angrier. Ted hid behind the corner as he watched.

"I thought you agreed! No more rants in front of my interns." JD hissed.

"Yes, but if I stuck to that, it would make me a nice person, and not a twisted being of pure evil."

"No, that's Jordan." Ted saw Dr Cox smile at that before he quickly went back to his I-don't-care mask. Dr Dorian hadn't seen that, and went on.

"You can't be that bad a person! I mean, you must have some nice qualities, or you wouldn't even be here saving people. You'd be an assassin, or an evil genius, or a lawyer! You act like you're this big, bad person with a heart of stone, but I know that isn't the truth. Just think of how you were when you lost the transplant patients. If you didn't care you wouldn't have been that way." For once, the older doctor was speechless. "Yeh, that's what I thought." Dr Dorian said, before storming away. Ted saw Dr Cox watch the other man walk away, eyes straying quite low. Almost straight after he turned around, Dr Dorian looked back over his shoulder, doing the exact same thing. That was certainly a normal occurrence. When they'd finished eyeing each other up, Ted wandered off to find something worth doing.

He found Dr Reid sitting in the corner of the closet, crying. A tall man wearing blue had his arm around her, and he was whispering reassurance and comfort to her. The janitor was listening to her go on about something or other, whilst passing her tissues every now and then. Ted sighed in unison with the janitor and the young blonde got up, sniffed, and walked away. No words of thanks, no realisation of the love the man felt. That was certainly very, very normal.

This, however was not.

Dr Dorian was lying on a couch, his head resting on the arm of the thing. None of his usual friends appeared to be with him. Dr Reid and the surgeon were nowhere to be seen. It was only Dorian. His eyes were half closed and his arms were drawn up to his chest. Ted hesitated. The man was probably just sleeping, he'd had a long shift… but still, no harm in checking.

"Dr Dorian?" Ted asked nervously. The man's head shot up, worry filled eyes darting towards the intruder. He relaxed when he saw Ted.

"It's just you. What did you want?" his voice was shaking slightly. Ted noticed this, and took a step forwards.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Dorian insisted, voice still trembling. He quickly pushed his sleeves down before standing up. "I should go…" Something was wrong. Ted took another step forward, and gasped. The man's white sleeves were beginning to turn pink. Then red. As Dorian noticed, he whimpered slightly. There was a clang and Ted watched a scalpel hit the floor. Ted ran forwards just as Dorian hit the sofa. His eyelashes fluttered and began to close. Ted shook his head frantically. What did he know about this? Nothing.

"Help?" he called, almost uncertainly. Then, more urgently as Dorian's eyes closed properly. "Help! I need help in here!" No one was around to hear. He sighed and took a deep breath.

"Doctor Dorian, I'm going to need to go and fetch someone. I'll be back in a minute." There was no reply. The man was slipping into unconsciousness. Ted ran out into the hallway, knocking over a nurse carrying a stack of papers.

"Hey! Watch it jackass!" she scolded. Ted opened his mouth to explain but she stormed off. Ted cursed and sprinted down the hallway.

Where he ran smack bang into one very pissed Doctor Cox.

"What the hell is your problem Ted?" He hissed. "Your mother decide that, as a full grown man, it's about time you stopped climbing into her bed whenever you have a nightmare that Tinky Winky is hiding in your wardrobe with a machete?"

"You're in a bad mood, sir." Ted said, momentarily forgetting why he came.

"Damn straight I'm in a bad mood. I can't find Newbie, and he needs to check up on Mr Rogers." Ted knew fully well that Mr Rogers wasn't urgent and that Dr Cox could have waited another hour or so. But it did jolt him back into reality.

"Dr Cox, there's no time. Someone's hurt." Dr Cox didn't miss a beat.

"Well, pointdexter, this is a hospital. At any one point someone is generally injured."

"No…this is someone that shouldn't be injured."

"What, so some people are meant to be hit by cars or have heart attacks?"

"No!" Dr Cox was sure as hell making this hard.

"So what then?" Dr Cox said aggressively. Ted swallowed, looked him in the eye and spoke.

"Dr Cox. Dr Dorian has just slit his wrists."

At that revelation, Doctor Cox gave a weak laugh.

"You're one sick joker, Ted." He said.

"I'm telling the truth!" Ted insisted. Dr Cox's face drained of colour.

"So Susan really…..she…..where is she?" he demanded.

"Um-"

"WHERE IS SHE?" Dr Cox yelled, causing several people to turn around.

"Just down the corridor." They began to sprint. Ted noted Dr Cox could run very fast when need be.

"I swear to god Ted, if this is a hoax…."

"It's not." That's all he would say. They arrived soon, Dr Cox beating Ted to do the door. He grabbed the handle and pulled. Nothing. Dr Cox pressed his face to the clear glass.

"Newbie! Open the door!" The man was still awake, but only just. He shook his head weakly. "Unlock this door, Clara!"

"No." Dr Dorian whispered, before slumping back down. His eyes closed as he fell unconscious.

"DAMN IT!" Dr Cox yelled, thumping the door. It gave him an idea, and he took a step back and kicked the door as hard as he could. It moved slightly. He kicked it again and it loosened a little more. Summoning all of his strength, Doctor Cox kicked the door a third time and watched with satisfaction as it slammed to the ground. He ran in, skidding slightly on a puddle of red liquid that Ted could only assume was blood.

"Shit." Doctor Cox cursed as he crouched beside Dr Dorian's body. He gingerly took hold of one of the man's wrists and pulled the sleeve up. He swore softly. Ted noted he had done that a lot. Ted liked noting things. But he too swore as he saw what had worried Dr Cox. A patchwork of scars, pink, red and white littered the man's arm and wrists.

"Oh, Sarah. I am gonna save your life and then kill you. How could you do this to yourself? To me?" He said it so softly, Ted wasn't sure he heard right. Dr Cox's head snapped up.

"I need a gurney!" he roared. Several nurses and interns rushed in, along with Dr Reid, whose face was still red from crying. She gasped when she saw her friend.

"Oh my god! JD!" she yelled. She turned to Dr Cox. "Is he gonna die?"

"If you get me a bloody gurney like I asked we'll be able to find out!" Dr Cox snapped, pulling off the sports jersey he was wearing. He wrapped it around the man's wrists as tight as he could, binding them together. Dr Reid ran out to go and fetch the things needed, the interns and nurses following.

"Ted, how long was he like this for?" Dr Cox asked, running a hand through his hair.

"I- I don't know sir." Ted asked. "I came in and he was lying on there with his arms against his chest. He didn't want me to see, but I did. His scrubs sleeves turned red."

"That means he was bleeding heavily." Dr Cox said, still pressing down on the cuts, trying to stem the flow of blood. It wasn't working.

"Ted, give me your tie." Ted quickly pulled it off and passed it over to Doctor Cox, who quickly wound it over the long cut on his left arm, which was bleeding more heavily.

"Newbie's right handed." He said quietly. "He would have cut the left on first. He wouldn't have had enough strength to cut the other one properly. Thank god for that." Just then, Dr Reid burst in with a gurney. And in the chaos that followed, with a doctor suddenly becoming a patient- a patient in critical state, at that- Ted noticed that Dr Cox didn't leave the body once.

* * *

"How's he doing?" Ted asked, sitting down beside the older doctor. He knew he would probably get shooed away, but today Dr Cox seemed willing to talk to him. Either that or he hadn't realised Ted was Ted.

"He's out of immediate danger, and he's on a blood drip. We think he'll be okay, but he hasn't woken up yet and it's been five hours."

"I'm sure he'll be okay." Ted said uncertainly. He wasn't used to comforting people, especially not hardened jerks like Dr Cox.

"Yes, but what if he's not? He can't be that bad off! He's got a job and friends and that lot. Why would he cut?"

"The hospital can be stressful sometimes."

"That can't be just it though. Okay, what doesn't he have?" This seemed to be aimed at no one, so Ted kept quiet. "He doesn't have a social life, not really. He doesn't do much apart from watch TV and work. And he's not seeing anyone so he doesn't have a love life…" Dr Cox started to go on, but Ted suddenly interrupted him.

"You could fix that."

"I'm going to go ahead and ignore the fact you just interrupted me, which would normally result in a shooting, and ask you just what the hell you are going on about?" Ted took a deep breath. It was now or never. The worst case scenario (or the best, to him) was that Dr Cox would feed him through a meat grinder.

"Sir, I know you're in love with him. Just tell him, for god's sake." Dr Cox turned an interesting shade of scarlet. Whether it was from embarrassment or anger, Ted didn't know. He was hoping for the first, but guessing it was the second. It appeared he was right.

"I don't even know where to start on that. You seem to think I have some kind of man crush on our possibly dying friend, Stacey. Well that alone is probably the most inappropriate thing I've ever heard, and I once spent a whole day with 'The Todd'. The man could for all you know be dying, and all you care about is how hot I think he looks in jeans? You really do have a problem. Is that all you wanna say? Or shall I go find you some other people to irritate? Wanna tell us how my ex wife is in love with Barbie, and how Ghandi is secretly lusting over the janitor? Hmm? Or are you quite done?" That was a mouthful even for Dr Cox, but the man seemed furious. And yet Ted somehow forced himself to stay calm, give a know it all smile and look Dr Cox in the eye.

"You think he looks hot in jeans." He repeated, then walked away, leaving an angry, confused and embarrassed Dr Cox.

"Did I just get beaten by Ted?" he asked worriedly. Laverne, who was passing by, spoke.

"You sure did, sugar."

And that kind of summed everything up, in a weird way.

* * *

"How you feeling?" Dr Cox asked softly. Dr Dorian had only just woken up.

"Hungry." He joked weakly. There was an awkward silence. Dr Cox eventually broke it.

"Why, Newbie?" Dr Dorian blinked, looking confused.

"Why what?" he asked.

"You know. What made you want to-" Dr Cox replied, gesturing to his wrists. Dorian took a deep breath, and Ted pressed himself closer to the window, eager to hear what was upsetting the man so much he had to try and kill himself.

"I'm not really sure." Dorian admitted. "Everything and nothing."

"At first I thought it might be the tension of the hospital," Dr Cox said, fingers tracing the scars on Dorian's wrists. "I mean, you've been working a lot of 24 hour shifts lately. Or maybe because you don't really do much apart from come here and go back home again. Or maybe because you had no girlfriend, I dunno." He shifted to a jokey mood, the seriousness looked awkward for both of them. "Or, of course, you were in love with me. Who could blame you? I mean, just look at-" He paused. Dorian had done that little trick where his face turned into a fire engine. Now came the revelation! Ted was beginning to understand why women gossiped so much. "You mean you actually-" Dorian nodded, suddenly finding a patch of dusty floor unbelievably interesting.

"Before you start, I know you don't feel the same way. And that's why I did it. I was fed up of having to see you ever day and know I have no chance. So now I'm just gonna face the wall and pretend this didn't happen." he said, rolling over and turning his back to the older man. Dr Cox sighed and put a hand Dorian's shoulder.

"Yeh. About that…."

Unfortunately for Ted, Kelso chose that exact moment to yell his name.

"TED! Get over here if you want a job tomorrow." Ted considered this, then sighed and wandered over.

"What's wrong sir?"

"What's wrong is that I cannot find Perry anywhere, and he was supposed to be running a check up on a friend of mine. A very dear, very rich friend. We're now running ten minutes late, and- don't EVER let Perry hear this- that means we're one good doctor down."

"Two, sir."

"What?"

"Dorian tried to kill himself."

"Has he been treated?" Kelso said, sounding worried.

"Yes, sir. He's stable." Kelso's expression snapped back to normal.

"Thank god for that, I thought I was going to have to waste time telling relatives. Now! Where's Perry?" Ted thought of the two men in the room.

"No idea, sir."

"Very well, but if I don't find him in the next ten minutes he's fired." Kelso sniffed, before storming away. Ted stared after him, not believing that the man hadn't known one of his own employees had, just a few hours ago, been on the brink of death. He crept back to the room's window, eager to see what was going on. He smiled softly as he saw Dr Dorian and Dr Cox kissing.

* * *

He thought today would probably be different. He walked in and Kelso said "Killed yourself yet?" like usual. He forced a smile and replied

"No, sir. I overslept and by the time I got to the station, the train had already gone past." And Kelso gave the usual reply before wandering off. That part of his day was certainly normal.

He peered through a window, into a patients room, and saw Dr Dorian explaining something to his interns. Until he was interrupted by a loud door slam which signalled the entrance of Dr Cox. The man always liked a big fuss to be made.

"Good morning Clarissa, Clarrisa's sheep. On my little chart here, it says that Mr Ray, the elderly businessman, is HIV positive. But it also says that Chi Yong, the Asian prostitute Bobbo brought in, has got arthritis. Who here thinks this sounds right?" None of the interns put their hands up. "No one? So, what probably happened? I don't plan to talk to any of you, as that would acknowledge you existence. Unfortunately, my friend 'the stapler' isn't around, so I'm going to have to listen to Veronica. Don't worry, I shall burn my ears off later. Now, what happened Veronica?"

"Well, it's most likely they just wrote out the wrong names." Dorian said.

"Well done Patty! Gold star for you." Dr Cox said, clapping sarcastically. "Now, interns! Why did you make that mistake?" One raised a hand.

"Um…because we're stupid idiots who will never amount to anything, and can save lives no better than a psychopathic serial murderer?" Dr Cox nodded at this.

"You've listened well."

"Dr Cox, could I have a word with you please?" Dr Dorian asked firmly. Dr Cox sighed, and casting one last 'screw-up-and-die' look at the interns, followed the younger man out.

"What the hell is wrong Petula? You should be checking the intern-puppies over there don't piddle on the floors." Dr Dorian smiled slightly.

"I thought you agreed you wouldn't yell at my interns. That's my job." Dr Dorian said.

"Yes, but you do a very bad job at it. You just whimper about how unfair life is."

"No, that's Elliot." Dr Cox smiled at that, and then spoke mock angrily.

"Honestly Jennifer. You think you'd have more respect for your friends, even strange whiny creatures like Blondie. You'd better not talk about me like that to your boyfriend and his wife."

"Turk's not my boyfriend. You are." That earned Dr Dorian a thump on the arm.

"You know I hate that word."

"Yup." Dr Dorian grinned. Dr Cox rolled his eyes, and turned away. He walked down the corridor, Dr Dorian's eyes Velcro-ed to his backside like usual.

"And stop staring at my ass Patricia!" Dr Cox called.

"Make me!" Dorian yelled back. He turned around and bumped into Ted, before once again turning into fire engine man.

"Huh, hey Ted. How long you been there for?" Ted attempted a smile.

"Only just got here Dr Dorian. Why?"

"No reason. Why do you always call me Dr Dorian?"

"What?" That caught Ted off guard. "That's your name, isn't it?"

"My interns call me that, I guess." He shrugged. "I dunno, it's just most people call me JD. I like that." Ted considered this.

"Alright. JD it is." JD smile and began to jog in the opposite direction.

"Hey!" Ted called. JD turned around.

"Running after Dr Cox?" JD blushed even more, then nodded. Ted grinned, and the other man set off.

Maybe, just maybe, some people did listen to him.


End file.
